night number 5

well after monday's sleeping through the night i was hoping last night would follow. we had a busy day yesterday with a play date and a few errands. she slept great in the morning even though she was up at 5am for the day. monday she was up at 6 and took her morning nap at 830-1130 and then in the afternoon 230-430 so she slept for 5 hours and then went to bed at 830 and slept through the night so yesterday when she got up at 5 instead of 6 i just went with it. i did nurse her actually hoping she would sleep for another hour but when 6:00 hit i got out of bed and said ok i guess we are up for the day. (she hadn't gone back to sleep, just played with us in bed for a little while) so i got up hoping this would be another great day full of naps and hoping the evening would be great too! well up at 5, nursed her and breakfast was at 630, she was asleep for a nap by 815. i talked to a girlfriend the other day who mentioned giving up the nursing before the morning nap and i tried it cus katie had just finished breakfast and then it was time for morning nap so she didn't really want milk. she did nurse a little but not enough to get much out of it so i think tomorrow i'll try to eliminate it and see how it goes. well she slept from 815 to 10 and then had lunch and slept from 230-4. she was following the same schedule as the day before when she slept through the night so i was hoping for another night of peace and quiet.
well i spoke to another girlfriend and let her know of our accomplishments through the cry it out method and i mentioned everything was kinda falling into place; waking up earlier, earlier nap, earlier lunch and then afternoon nap before 330 which is when it used to be however i mentioned we are still going to bed around 830 and she said that was kinda late. so last night i tried to move that up a little. now she did say do it 15 minutes a night so its not so drastic but katie was starting to show signs of being tired earlier than that so i tried it about a half hour earlier. ehhhh didn't' really work but i think its cus a few other things were off.
when we finished dinner last night it was almost 7. i feed her at 6 but she took a while to eat so it was getting later and later and i still had to nurse her before bed but it was becoming clear that nursing was going to be pretty close to dinner so i worry she wont' drink much in that case which is actually exactly what happened. we had some play time but bri wasn't here again cus he was at our neighborhood meeting so i did play time and then i tried to nurse her but it was so close to dinner she wasn't hungry. it had been working so well to nurse before bath and bed but unfortunately katie wanted nothing to do with milk at that time so i just moved on to the bath and tried nursing her after. she still wasn't hungry but was showing signs of being tired. i went ahead at 8 rather than 830 and put her in bed after drinking very little, nursing for maybe 3 or 4 minutes. she screamed for 5 minutes, i mean she was protesting and standing in her crib telling me it was NOT TIME FOR BED! i mean it was only a half hour earlier than she is used to, can she really tell the difference??? anyway i went in after 5 minutes and lay her back down and she was quiet for the next 5. i thought omg wow this has worked! i can't believe it. another night of peace. how is this possible! well after that 5 minutes she was tricking me cus she sat back up and started up again. 5 more minutes of crying, not as hard but she was again telling me she was not ready. i let her cry like this for another 15 minutes and continued to go in after 5 and then 10to lay her back down adn tell her it was time for bed. by 845 katie was now really upset and her cry had changed. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh smarty pants was hungry finally. she had had dinner at 6 and it had been a while so she was ready for milk.
against my better judgement i went in and fed her. i know i know it was wrong but she really hadn't eaten and i don't' think its fair to put her down without any milk so... i fed her and she fell asleep in her crib within a few minutes of whining after that. ahhhhhhh i dunno if i followed the crying it out method properly last night but she woke again at 930, about a half hour after i put her down just to be patted on her back and then proceeded to sleep until 1. ughhhhhhh the first thing i think of when i get up at 1 is OH NO have i really messed her up that bad in one night that she is up to eat??? i get up to go lay her back down and that usually puts her right to sleep lately but not last night!
first of all i had to get her out of the crib cus somehow the crib sheet was damp. or so i thought. keep in mind i was half asleep. ughhhh so i got her up and changed her and the crib which of course woke her up. her diaper wasn't huge but her back felt cold as if wet so ughhhhhhhh i changed everything at 1am. and then... well i'm sorry bri i have to let her cry.
after ten minutes and the clock is rounding 130am i think... humm should i just feed her? i mean how long can i let her go like this. (oh and by the way... bri is sleeping through the whole thing at this point) should i just feed her adn get her back to sleep??? oh goodness me have i screwed up big time? ahhhhhhhh
well as 2am rounded and bri has now woken up and half asleep asks me whats going on i of course snap at him cus i'm so frustrated at myself for messing her sleep up last night. ughhh so now bri is pissed, i'm pissed and katie is screaming and its 2am. OMG i can not handle this. i really don't know if this is worth it. i mean if i had just fed her at 1am then she would have just fallen back asleep... i think.... and then we could have avoided all this nonsense for this hour in the middle of the night. well at 215 i picked her up and fed her. she was back asleep in a second but in all fairness she did eat a bunch. and this morning she was up again at 545.
ahhhhh sighh..... and now it starts all over again!